My angel

In the darkness I can see my fears wasting no time, hunting me down. Something eager to feed on my tears is closing in on me. As I go through my mind searching for an answer I suddenly see out the corner of my eye a blinding light toward me. From the light walks an angel with a loving smile on his face; as his beautiful blue eyes pierce into my soul he stretches for his hefty arms. I cannot help but follow the sweet sound of his voice, as he calls out my name. I feel the blood rushing through my veins as my still body gets nearer this wonderful sight. He then expands his large feathered wings, holding me tight to his soft muscular chest. He slowly lifts his head to the inviting sky and delicately takes off aiming for the stars, leaving my fears and tears behind.

Spring Break

This spring break I am planning on going to Texas to surprise my boyfriend. It's a long story but he got in a fight with his step dad and he is just staying with some family up in Texas for a couple of months; he will be back before the summer. So for spring break I am going to get a flight out there for a week. He doesn't know this though, and I'm not planning on telling him. I want to surprise him. He is going to school while he's up there, and I've already talked to his cousin about what all his classes are and what rooms they are. He already had his spring break in march, so when  I go up there he will be in school which is perfect. I'm going to go up there on a Sunday and his cousin is going to show me where all of his classes are. So I'm going to get 7 big poster papers, because he has 7 periods. On each paper I'm going to stick on the front of each of his classes and write, WILL. YOU. GO. TO. PROM.WITH. ME. and the last one will have a "?" on it and I will be standing in front of his 7th period class holding it, and when he sees me he will know that those signs were for him. I already know he will go to my prom with me because I asked him before and he said of course, but I just want to do it in a cute way, and I think it will really surprise him. So that is what I'm planning on doing for spring break.  

Kissing Snowflakes

Before I came into this class I hated reading. There was only one book out of about 500 books I've had to read that I actually liked; it was called Speak. I have read about 5 books in this class and every single one that I've read I enjoyed. This one I'm reading now is called Kissing Snowflakes. I like this book probably the most. I've just started reading it so I don't know if it's my favorite yet, but I think I like it more than the others so far because the main character, Samantha Levy, reminds me a lot of myself. She is stubborn, shy when she's around certain people, very opinionated, and her mother and father are divorced. Her dad married someone else who is now Sam's step mom, and she doesn't like her at all mostly because she is taking her dad away from her. That is exactly how I felt when my dad married another women after divorcing my mom. 

Sam, her brother, and dad and Kathy, her new step mom, are all going to a ski resort for spring break. Neither of them have skied before except for Jeramy, her brother. Sam is planning on finding a guy she can cuddle up near the fire while she's up there. She has never had a boyfriend, mostly because she is really shy when she's around guys she likes. However, during this trip she and her best friend promised that she would find a guy she could call her boyfriend. I am anxious to find out what happens with that plan, and to see how she and her step mom get along during this trip. 

About me

I am a daughter, a sister, a grandaughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. I am a partne,a young girl and a grown women, I am confident, and scared, terrified,a nd excited. I am loving and carinf, and thoughtful, and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly, and careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am missunderstood, misguided and mislead. I am hard working and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on the stars and dram my dreams. I pray to God and cry my tears. I smile on the outside, while I'm dying on the inside. I listen to others who won't listen to me. I believe in passion, but not true love. I love you and I push you away. I want you away. I want you but not so close. I am everything and nothing all at once and all I want is for you to love me.

losing my brother

My older brother and I are very close and when I found out he was getting married and moving to gilroy I knew I wasn't going to be able to see and hang out with him as much. I worte this peom and I was going to read it to him at his wedding but instead I just read it to him when I was hanging out with him at his house. I didn't want to read it at his wedding because I didn't want some people to take it in a bad way, but my brother really liked it and he told me that I was never going to lose him and that we will still have a very close relationship.

I'm losing him
To a women
I don't even know
I wish he knew
Just how much I love him
and don't want to lose him
I sit and wonder
What he's doing
Or how he's feeling
I lookk up
At the sky where one star sits
And wobder if we are looking ip
at the same star
But I don't think we are
His life is changing
And so is mine
I'm not gonna be there For his day
But I've expected that
And it's ok
One silent tear
ran down my cheek
I just want him to know
That tear was made for him
I'm losing him

My stepbrother

He moved here a few years ago. The brand new kid in school. He was really shy and quiet. But I thought he was pretty kool. He was in my class when he got here. He talked to me here and there, and some random time I looked around and he was everywhere. We became very close friends, and went through good times and bad. I still think of the fun memories that we always had. Over the summer we got even closer. He's my brother and a bodyguard to me. He takes care of me like we're family. I swear this friendship was meant to be. Then to me he released a secret I had no ideqa this could be. This secret he has kept so long was that he loved me. I've been recovering from my first relationship. One that came to a bad end. I hate him and he hates me. But my brother's here for me as a friend. The way he tells me all those things about my smile and shinning eyes makes me want to dance in the rain. While I enjoy this feeling inside I told him now that I love him too. But I still might need some time. The boy is my brother and my best friend from now until the end

You chose weed over me

I'm getting tired of you
I don't wanna laugh.
I just wanna cry all over again.
You messed me up when you cheated.
You chose weed over me.
I can't forgive you.
My heart needs time to heal.
I don't need you or your weed.
I can't love you anymore.
You need to let go of me.
You don't need me any way
you have your weed to love.
I was never your girl, you cheated.
Now I wanna laugh at you.
I wanna dry those tears all over again
You made my life better by leaving.
Go love the weed.
I have a new man to love me.
Who won't chose weed over me.

Portrait of a Friend

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers. I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care. I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; yet I can share in your laughter. Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you. I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, but I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself. I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.

My Life Changing Experience

Have you ever had a life changing experience? Did you ever treat your parents like crap? Have you ever taken advantage of your parents, and not even notice that they think you don't love them or respect them at all? Well I have

I have always taken advantage of my responsibilities. I always took the easy way out. I never really thought about things before I did them. My parents and aunt and uncle have always told me what they did when they were my age and all the mistakes they made. I never realized until now that they told me that so that hopefully I wouldn't do the things they did, and I would learn from their mistakes. 

Last Thanksgiving my dad and uncle went to Reno for the weekend. My uncle didn't think I should stay at the house by myself while they were gone. My dad told him that I'm almost 18 and that he trusted me to not have any parties at the house while they were gone. He still didn't think it was such a great idea to leave a teenager home alone for a  whole weekend, but he knew that my dad trusted me, so he decided to trust me too. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I decided to throw a party at my house. My friends got alcohol, and we all were drinking, and I had too much to drink. That was probably the second big mistake I have ever made in my life. Because I was drinking I wasn't watching over my house to make sure nothing was damaged or stolen. I woke up the next morning and realized that almost everything in my cousin's room was stolen. 

My dad and uncle finally found out. They both came home early. We had a big talk, my dad, uncle, aunt, cousin, and I. That's when I realized that I didn't just disobey my dad, I broke his heart. He trusted me not to throw a party at the house. Ever since that incident happened I realized that I was almost 18, and I could have went to jail for having and providing alcohol to underage people, including me. Luckily the cops let me off with a warning. 

It scares me to know that I'm an adult now. Everything is going to get so much harder. I can't keep doing the things I use to do, because if I'm not careful I could end up in jail. My life changed in so many ways after that night. Before that happened I never really bonded with my dad. He would always play golf or poker with my brothers, but we never really did anything like that. It's not like I didn't want to, it was just awkward between us, because we don't have a lot in common. That changed though. We have spent a lot of time together ever since that night. In a way, I am glad that happened to me, because if it never did, I don't think my dad and I would ever be as close as we are now.

Sometimes the only way to change or be a better person is by learning from your mistakes no matter how bad it was. If I could go back in time and change something I wouldn't change anything. The things I did in my past have made me a better person, because I learned from them.